2012 wrap up

There is nothing quite like ending a year with a bit of closure.  For me 2012 was a year where great strides were taken, and some issues came back after I thought I knew better.

I learned that my heart worked perfectly fine.  I learned that I could love other people's children as if they were my own.  I dug deep and tried to mentor, to set a good example, especially if that meant standing my ground for positive values and ethics...even under considerable fire. I loved so deep that I thought my heart was going to burst in two, then loved some more. I loved angry kids, troubled kids, cuddly kids, and shy ones.  Most importantly I learned how to navigate the difficult terrain of loving a child who is incapable of love.  That one was no picnic, and I shed many tears, but learning of an other's emotional shortcomings rarely comes without facing some tough emotions in your own right.

I learned a great deal about personality disorders this year.  I learned as much as I could, but was still reeling when a beautiful soul decided to take her own life.  No matter how much I read, I could never understand what she felt.

There were many ethical issues that I had to navigate through this year.  I had to learn how to say "no" quite effectively in both work and personal circles.  I had to remind myself of the diplomacy skills that I hold dear to my heart.  I was surrounded by people with grossly different political views from mine, from Washington state onwards.  I bit my lip so hard so many times as I let others speak, but made sure not to let them speak for me.

I learned a lot of things.  I put my money where my mouth is and wasn't a dreaded "talker."  I dug in dirt, built gardens, edited video, bottle fed baby animals, and fixed a car.  I returned to teaching for a brief reminder of the power of sharing knowledge. It was a hands on kind of year.

I made a lot of great recipes this year.  My stomach ruled 2012.  I went well out of my way to tamper with tried and true recipes and make them suitable for others with intolerance. I remembered old friends like molasses cake and Irish soda bread, and maintained the continuum that food creates in our lives.

I was very kind to animals this year, caring for numerous creatures of all sizes and temperaments.  One such memory is of rescuing a horse from a hail storm.  The look in the horse's eyes was unforgettable, it is burned into my soul.. I fell in love with the intelligence that animals display, if you bother to watch.

I returned to old friends to remind them that they are forever in my heart.  I told them that they are worth traveling for.  I logged many miles to remind people that they are unforgettable.

I had to learn how to deal with another person's addiction this year.  It is a touchy issue that I had to revisit. Finding the balance between having empathy for an other's choices, and enabling those choices was a very fine line to make. It was also a matter of quality of life for myself.

I took considerable risk this year.  I went out into the unknown, simply because I knew it was time.  I had to find courage, and believe in myself.

So as I sit looking forward into the new year, I see several areas where I can do better this year.  More experiences that I would like to have in my life, and qualities that I want to nurture in my own person...but more on that later.

1 comment:

Cally said...

Hi Anna and a very Happy New Year to you too.

My health is still keeping me from reading blogs so it was especially nice to find your last year encapsulated in this post.

Love, kids and animals - they really get right to the core if you let them don't they. I had a bit of all 3 and they really were the high points of an otherwise trying year.

I have a good feeling about 2013, last year was the year of painful but necessary change, this year feels like it will be about exploring the new perspectives that have come as a result - it feels scary and hopeful in equal measure. Life eh.

Here's to new learning for both of us.