12.29.2007

Santaland part 3

So Jingle Jangle boy seemed to get us all threatened, including a miniature trio of Latininis who flaunted their lack of stature. "I am soooo ashamed to have to like write 4foot eight for height." Show off. I was monsterous compared to them. I felt like I was back on the public bus in Padangsedimpuan, Indonesia with a chicken on my lap. Rolling around on a pile of coconuts because I was deemed "Basar." Which I believe transates to 'grace of an elephant.' I wanted to be svelt and elfinlike but not around these three whose giagantic earrings made them appear even smaller. They pushed their way to the front of the Santaland line up stating loudly and repeatidly, "I can't see. I can't see anything." Yeah we got it the first time.

A drill sargent of a manager yelled at us, "who believes in Santa!" She scared the heck out of me but I managed a hand up. She obviously didn't see it or maybe just wanted to show the torture she could let loose on a non believer. I noted that I did in fact raise my hand, so she retorted by making fun of how I raised my hand. Wasn't merry enough, I guess. Should have poked out my neighbor's eye in the name of Claus. I gave thought to jumping at her feet and yelling "I believe! I believe! Amen!" But then I pictured her tying me to the creepy talking tree and leaving me there for the season as Jingle Jangle and the three amigas threw candy canes at my head. Better let her have this one.

I skated through the tag team interview, speaking as loudly as I could. I was judged elfin enough and put into a top secret survey room. Jingle Jangles was nowhere to be seen. Did he get lost in the maze? I mean it is a one way system, but his earlier panic had me concerned that he might have accidently got his head stuck in a dry cleaning bag or something.

to be continued...

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